ivf cycle day five

Today was interesting. 


We woke up to news of the devastating earthquakes and tsunami in Japan. Living in earthquake country I can vividly recall the 1989 Loma Prieta quake. It was only a 6.9, but the shaking was intense. There was this gawd-awful sound of 10,000 nails grinding into a chalkboard, then the shaking started. I was just a kid at gymnastics class in an older building. We took shelter under the trampoline until the shaking stopped. I can remember watching the wall of windows in the building pulsate in and out thinking that they would shatter at any moment. My mom stayed calm, but I could sense the seriousness of her spirit. We lost power for 3 days, but nothing at our home was damaged. 


There have been other quakes since then, none as large or devastating. But they are always scary. Not knowing how long the shaking will last, or how far the epicenter might be, or how I will be sure that my family and friends are all okay. Earthquakes are serious business. 


We actually woke up to news of a tsunami watch along the coast. We live one (big) sand dune from the pacific ocean so we payed some attention, but I've studied the tsunami maps for our area and we aren't in a real danger zone. We were much less worried about a tsunami hitting us than we were about the earthquake that caused the waves. We had to switch thru a few networks, but found the news from Japan. My heart goes out to the people who are dealing with this disaster right now. 


We got up and ventured out for my blood check. I still have a gross bruise from my baseline blood draw 3 days ago. The dr used a smaller needle this time and it hurt a lot less than normal. 


As we were paying our bill to leave the Presidents press conference was just starting. ML wanted to watch so we sat in the reception watching the President talk about the disaster in Japan and the cost of gas and other world politics. I watched the tv, but also thought a lot about how lucky we are, to be safe and warm, to be doing this ivf, to know that my support system was waiting for a text update from the visit, to feel like there is hope of sorts. I always enjoy watching our president speak. I know that it is scripted, but there is a confidence that gives me hope. 


We came back home and sat down to order our donor sperm. Alas, the donor that we used for our last IUI was sold out, as was the donor that we'd used for the first IUI. So we had to choose a new donor. It gets harder each time, and this time it felt like there weren't any choices that I could accept. I was starting to feel discouraged and frustrated when ML found a great option for us. He reminded me that this is a false choice, one that is a means to an end. I know that he is right, but it still sucked to call and place the order. 


For whatever reason, maybe because I am feeling hopeful, I wanted to get the full profile info for the donor. So after placing my $640 sperm order I asked the rep if he could send me the full profile information. I was shocked when he said that we would have to purchase it for another $60. Excuse me? I know that this request is not out of line. I just purchased the sperm that may help create my family and you want to charge me another $60 to get a full profile of the donor? It makes me upset just writing this. So I left a message with his manager. 


As soon as I hung up with the cryobank, the IVF nurse called with the results of my estradial blood test. She instructed me to reduce the amount of Folistem/Bravelle from 375 to 150 AND they moved up my next visit from Tuesday to Monday. I guess that means I am responding well to the meds, which is good, right? 


Our medications for tonight will be:
150 units of Bravelle/Folistem (reduced from 375)
75 units of Menopur
81 mgs of Asprin
16 mgs of Medrol


I am still feeling good. Starting to feel a little nervous, but mostly excited. 


(Don't forget that every comment during my ivf cycle is an entry into my giveaway! Thank you!)

ivf cycle day four

I just worked a 12 hour day and am so grateful to have my energy back! I mean, I'm happy to be home in my pi's now, but it was a good day and it felt good to feel good!


Our second night of injections (last night) went well. We each mixed up one of the injections, then ML gave them both to me. There was a sting again when he pushed the medicine in, but it wasn't bad and only lasted a few minutes.  

375 units of Bravelle
150 units of Menopur
81 mgs of Asprin
16 mgs of Medrol



We have our next blood draw tomorrow morning to check on my estrogen levels so that the meds can be adjusted accordingly. I just keep picturing my perfect little ovaries accepting the perfect amount of medicine to grow some perfect little follicles that are growing at just the right speed. 


I also keep looking at cute maternity clothes online. I can't help myself. hehe.

ivf cycle day three

So far so good. We did the first round of IVF meds last night. 


375 units of Bravelle
150 units of Menopur
81 mgs of Asprin
16 mgs of Medrol


We've had lots of practice mixing and injecting the last 6 months while ML was trying the FSH therapy. I helped him mix it all up and then he gave me the injections. We could only mix 4 vials per injection, so it was 4 vials of Bravelle in one injection and 2 vials of Menopur plus 1 vial of Bravelle in the second injection. They stung a little as he pushed the meds in, and there was a little drop of blood at the injection site. I can totally do this. I totally did this.


I slept well last night and woke up feeling good this morning. So far so good!


Then Bestie surprised us with yummy chicken enchilada's for dinner tonight. She is so sweet and loving!
* * * * *

Sunshine Fertility
by
Bloomtastic

Quick reminder about my first blog giveaway -  I love comments, and will especially love your sweet words during this ivf cycle. So every comment I receive between now and my beta will count as an entry. Poems and other inspiring encouraging quotes will count as two entries. When I get my beta the first week of April I'll announce the winner of the giveaway. The winner will tell me which Bloomtastic bracelet they love and it will magically appear in their mailbox a short time later.

99 vials of Bravelle on the Wall

Yep, I've got a huge box of Bravelle, Follistim, Menoupur, and progesterone in oil sitting in my bedroom. And while I may not have 99 vials of drugs, I DO have 99 people reading my blog and following my story!

My favorite is the Pea in a Pod.

To celebrate the start of my IVF cycle 
(OMG OMG OMG) 
I am hosting my first ever giveaway! 

I'm not really sure how these giveaways work, but I do want to do something special to thank this amazing community that has offered me so much support. One of the first blogs I discovered was Among the Blossoms. Jenna had the prettiest blog and such an upbeat positive perspective. It only seems appropriate that she started creating beautiful and inspired jewelry. If you haven't seen her bracelets yet, check them out at her Etsy store. (She's also on Facebook.) Go ahead and fall in love with the bracelet that is meant for you because the winner of my giveaway will receive their very own Bloomtastic bracelet!

So this is how its gonna work, I love comments, and will especially love your sweet words during this ivf cycle. So every comment I receive between now and my beta will count as an entry. Poems and other inspiring encouraging quotes will count as two entries. When I get my beta the first week of April I'll announce the winner of the giveaway. The winner will tell me which bracelet they love and it will magically appear in their mailbox a short time later.

You like?

* * * * *
I had my baseline ultrasound and blood draw this morning. Everything looks good and we have the green light to start the injections of Bravelle and Menopur tonight. I am so excited.

The other exciting news is that the weight of my exhaustion has lifted too. The day after I stopped taking the bcp my energy started to return, slowly but surely. I'm not sleeping 12 hours a night and even worked a solid 7 hours today after our ultrasound today. It feels good to feel better, you know?

Keep the good news coming in my direction!

I might be a B

Yeah, its true. I might just be a B.
(Yeah, that B word we call wicked mean ladies.)

For the record, I hate pharmacies. I hate everything about them. (except the drugs that they give me, I generally like those drugs.)

My roommate* texted me tonight that she was deathly ill. She was dropping her prescriptions off and didn't want to wait the 30 minutes while they were being filled. I told her to come home and offered to pick them up for her.

Poor sick roomy came home, told us about her flu, ear infection, and infected cat bite**. She crawled into bed, moaning. poor thing.

I was curled up on the couch with ML, happily working on a blog post, but I watched the clock and ventured out to the pharmacy about 40 minutes later.

The CVS drug store was quiet with the exception of a line at the pharmacy. There was clerk and one pharmacist working as slow as turtles. I patiently watched as the clerk couldn't find the prescriptions of the two people in line ahead of me, sending them away to return tomorrow. My blood pressure started rising. When it was finally my turn at the counter I waited as she slowly and fruitlessly searched for Roomies prescriptions. I was irritated.

I was informed that the pharmacist, who was busy checking out the person in line behind me, just needed a few minutes to finnish filling it. Grrr, I snapped back at the clerk reiterating that it had been over 45 minutes already and the prescriptions weren't even started yet.

I stepped back from the counter, crossed my arms, and shot some nasty looks at the pharmacist who was still checking people out at another register. The store music was pissing me off as I stood there staring at all those drugs behind the glass wall. Finally the pharmacist headed back to fill my prescriptions, or so I thought. She was so freaking old and moved so freaking slowly. Over an hour had passed since Roomie was assured a 30 minute wait when she dropped the prescriptions off. I was pissed.

All I can think about when I am at a pharmacy is how much I hate pharmacies. It's similar to how I hate insurance companies. They are these necessary evils. What really is the point of a pharmacist? They are highly paid pill counters, seriously, what is the point of that? and insurance companies, don't even get me started on freaking insurance companies.  I hate them too.

So after waiting way too long, as the old hag filled other prescriptions and finally finished filling my scripts, the pathetic clerk thanked me for waiting so patiently. (Let me assure you that NO one could have mistaken my waiting with anything close to patient.) The clerk took my money then asked me to wait for a consult with the pharmacist. Um, yeah, I wasn't waiting any longer. I loudly, and rudely, stated thanks but no thanks, I would not be waiting any longer. Like magic, the pharmacist appeared. If only she could have moved that fast earlier.

I let her tell me about the medications, confirming her questions to me with the statement "whatever", as in, Her: "This is your antibiotic, you'll take this twice a day, okay?" Me: "Whatever". It was incredibly rude, but I couldn't help myself. When she was done, I looked straight at the overpaid pill counter and said, "If its going to take you 30 minutes then tell people it will be a 30 minute wait, but If its going to be a 90 minutes wait then tell people that it will be a 90 minute wait."

Then as if for good measure, because I hadn't been awful enough, I demanded the name of the store manager so that I could provide them with feedback about my visit.  Grrrr.

And then when I got into my car, I felt bad. The poor clerk will probably cry when her shift is over tonight while the professional pill counter is thinking that she is too old to deal with this kind of crap and wishing that she'd saved better for retirement.

I was B. I hate that I get that way, but I do.

* ML and I live in a big house and rent out a few of our extra bedrooms. It's actually been a really awesome experience and we've met some really nice people. The fact that their rent pays our mortgage is pretty sweet too. It not a forever thing, but for now, it works. 

** Foggy Whitesox has basically moved in with us. She is a sweet kitty, but can be a B herself. She's drawn blood from everyone in the house with her mean claws and sharp teeth. We should probably get her to the vet to be sure that she has her shots. 

* * * *
In other news: I am super excited and feeling very positive about my baseline IVF ultrasound tomorrow morning :) I can barely believe that this day is finally here. The stomach butterflies are in full force :)

Coming Out...

You've seen the TODAY show segment on Infertility Support groups, right?
I just watched it. Very well done, imho.
So well done that I just posted it to my Face.book page. Yep, I'm officially testing out the Facebook waters.

You also know that I am (trying to) start a support group here in my own community. I made a special Face.book page to help promote it. Would you like to check it out and tell me how awesome it is?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/41755675#41755675

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

PS: Congratulations are in order for Rebekah who is PREGNANT, and for Emmy who just welcomed her perfect little daughter into this world.

fatigue

First things first...

I have one crazy sweet tooth these days. I just can't get enough yummy sweet things.

Riesen, YUMMY yum yum!

It's been over two weeks since the onset of this insane fatigue. I've been sleeping a full 12 hours each night, can't seem to get myself up and out of the house before noon, and am ready for a nap every afternoon. I've missed nearly 40 hours of work so far. 


I called my IVF nurse early last week to see if there might be a reason I was feeling so exhausted. She wasn't sure but thought that it must be a side effect of the BCP or the Parlodel (that I am taking to lower my prolactin.) 


Later that week a colleague asked me if I could possibly have mono. She could see just how tired I was feeling.


Then I got a comment on one of my posts encouraging me to get my thyroid checked. The super awesome blogger said: "the kind of fatigue you are describing, especially in connection with taking birth control pills, is a classic symptom of hypothyroidism, a cause of infertility, pregnancy loss, and elevated prolactin" She referenced a website with details about hypothyroidism. It seemed like a reasonable answer to the mystery, and one that could easily be treated. Besides, my mom has a long history of thyroid problems.


I emailed my Dr who immediately faxed an order to the lab. I was having my blood drawn less than an hour later. 


We got the lab results back on Monday. They were normal. My thyroid was less than 2 and my prolactin down to 11 (from 28). 


So I'm glad for the good news, but left wondering the cause of this mystery fatigue. 


* * * * *
We have our meds/injections Class tomorrow afternoon :)
I take my final BCP tonight!
5 days until I start my stim injections!
* * * * *

March On!

What a year it's been. Last March I took what felt like a HUGE leap of faith and joined Lily's Infertility E-Class. It was beyond wonderful and opened up a whole world of coping and support that I needed so desperately. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Thank You from the Bottom of my Heart Lily.

Today is March 1st.
In short 8 days I will start my IVF injections.
In a few short weeks I will have perfect little embies growing inside my belly.
This is the month that I have been waiting for for such a long time.

I am so grateful.
I am so grateful that we could afford this treatment option.
I am so grateful that my work is flexible to allow me to take so much time off.
I am so grateful that my friends and family are so incredibly supportive.
I am so grateful that the technology exists for us to have this chance.

I am calm.
I am relaxed.

I am feeling positive.
I am feeling cautiously optimistic about this cycle.
I am feeling well prepared to flood my body with these hormones.
I can do this. I am ready.

I'm hosting!

Inspired by The Queen, and feeling like I really need some local support, I took the leap and am starting a local RESOLVE infertility support group.

I still really wish that I didn't have to take the lead to create a support group, it would be so much easier if I could just show up and participate, but the nearest group is a two hour drive (w/o traffic). I've made the trip a few times, but it is just too far. And I need some local support, some local face-to-face support, from others who are on this journey.

RESOLVE sent me all the info about peer-led groups, and I got a local church to agree to offer us a meeting room for free. I felt a little weird telling the pastor that I had nothing to offer in return for the free space, but it is the truth.  I sent a press release out to the local media, and made flyers that I sent the to only RE in the area. My mom offered to mail the flyer to all of the local GYN's.

March 17th will be the first meeting. It might also be the day of my Egg Retrieval.

I invited the lady who revealed to me last year that her middle school age son was conceived via IVF, I invited my mom, and I invited a gal whose husband works with mine who has struggled with unexplained infertility for years. Even if it is just a chance for a few of us to get together once a month to chat, I think it would be a success.
***
I am still feeling really tired. like really, really, really tired. Waking up in the morning is next to impossible, as is staying awake for more than 12 hours at a time. I called my ivf nurse today (or maybe it was yesterday) to ask her about disability leave from work. I need to know if I can take part-time disability. It is all I can do to get thru a few hours at work before I might as well curl up under my desk. I just feel so weak, like after you have the flu, so weak and tired. The nurse thought that the birth control might be making me so tired, just like early pregnancy hormones would.

It doesn't really matter why I am so tired. I just need to figure out how I can deal with it, without losing my job.

A Conversation

Foxy: Suzy is pregnant again.

ML: Really?

Foxy: It is the second time she got pregnant with an IUD.
It took her a few weeks to be okay with it.

ML: Suzy has cute kids, why doesn't she just give it to us?

Foxy: Um, are you serious?

ML: Why not?

Foxy: Are you really ready to start taking about adoption?

ML: If IVF doesn't work, it is where we are headed, right?

Foxy: Um, yeah, well, I guess, I'm, umm, just not quite there yet.