Encore

Gonna pick myself up off the ground
When that old feeling comes around again
I’ve had enough of feeling down
There’s something I’ve lost that must be found again

Sometimes it seems like such a hard life
But there’s good times around the bend
The rollercoaster’s got to roll to the bottom
If you want to climb to the top again

Driving down the highway in the rain
Look out of my window and see that southbound train
It’s headlights still shining in my brain
Stayed right alongside me just to ease my pain

Sometimes it seems like such a hard life
But there’s good times around the bend
The rollercoaster’s got to roll to the bottom
If you want to climb to the top again

Well the snow is gone and the springtime’s here
And the rivers song is buzzing in my ears
Sit and watch the treetops sway
Here comes a breeze to blow my cares away

Sometimes it seems like such a hard life
But there’s good times around the bend
The rollercoaster’s got to roll to the bottom
If you want to climb to the top again

Taught to be Proud

In preparation for my first ICLW, I tried to write up a little something about me, but nothing came out. So instead, you get a little insight about where I come from. After 18 months of trying naturally, husband was diagnosed with azoospermia due to maturation arrest. Our Someday Story summarizes our journey thus far. Thanks for visiting!

I had to drive to the City yesterday for a work thing. It is in the car, while I am driving alone, that I do a lot of thinking. There was a point earlier on this journey when that car thinking left me in tears nearly every time I drove anywhere. But like I said last post, I am stronger this year. 

When I lost all my local radio stations, I dug thru the glove compartment to find some old CD’s to keep me company. I found an old favorite, Tea. Leaf. Green., and popped it in. The first song starts with “I was taught to be proud of where I come from”, and it got me thinking. My experience with infertility is grounded in the roots of my family and upbringing - where I come from.

My mom has spent her life working with pregnant couples and new families. For years she taught natural childbirth classes in our living room, ran a breastpump rental company out of our hall closet, and teaches new parents how to embrace their new role. We had placenta’s in tupperware in our refrigerator, blow up charts detailing the stages of labor and delivery scattered in closets, and half naked women on our couch learning how to breastfeed their newborn infants. This is where I come from. 

When I got my period, my mom hosted a menarche party to celebrate my passage to womanhood. She invited a couple of my closest girlfriends and their moms, a couple of the ladies who I babysat for, and a couple other older female family friends. They gave me little gifts to symbolize the power and wonder of being a woman. It was at a really fancy restaurant and I actually felt really special. Maybe it was that party, or my moms guidance, but I’ve always embraced my monthly cycle. I’ve trusted that my body is going to take care of me, and someday nurture new life. This is where I come from.