I never pictured them as being the only thing that I can imagine eating right now, because the thought of anything else makes my stomach turn and my gag reflex respond.
It only been the past few days, but my stomach has definitely made its presence known and declared control. I've been extra hungry since week 5, needing lots of little snacks starting first thing in the morning and continuing until I fell asleep. If I didn't eat, the growling started, and if I ignored it for too long I'd start to feel ill. But there was plenty of warning, before any negative consequences. It was easy to pack my purse full of string cheese and granola bars and fruit.
I figured that since we made it to 8 weeks without any nausea that I was home free. haha
Starting last Thursday, the hunger warning turned into a sick stomach warning. If I waited too long between snacks, I'd start to feel nauseous. It was as if the nausea had replaced the hunger growls. But I could still eat a quick snack and regain control.
Shopping with ML on Saturday was a little challenging, until he suggested that we have cheeseburgers for dinner. Oh my gosh did cheeseburgers sound delicious. Thinking of of dinner was the only thing that got me thru the rest of trip, because nothing looked appealing.
By Sunday, I was diligent about snacking every 30 minutes or so. A little piece of bread, a bite of granola bar, a bit of string cheese. We were taking my mom to lunch for mothers day and as we drove to the restaurant, my favorite restaurant, the thought of food sounded awful. I couldn't imagine what I might order, and hoped that what the rest of the group ordered wouldn't be too offensive. I managed thru lunch eating my salad (sans gorgonzola) and mashed potatoes. I felt better after eating, but not for long. I snacked my way thru the evening, but wasn't feeling real hot.
On Monday, I'd packed my bag full of snacks, but couldn't bring myself to eat them, they just made me feel ill when I thought about pulling something out. Jamba Juice came to the rescue and I nursed my smoothie thru my next three meetings. When I ran out of smoothie, I switched to an odwala protein drink that lasted until the day ended. ML had planned on making pork chops and asparagus for dinner, but the thought of those foods made me feel so nauseous as I drove home. The only food that didn't sound repulsive at that point was cheese enchiladas. Not sure where that thought entered my mind, but it was all I could picture eating, not because I wanted it so much as because it didn't make my throat feel gaggy when I thought about it.
Sweet ML abandoned the pork chops and made a trip for mexican drive thru with me. I could only eat about half my plate, and then felt super gassy and stomach gurglely for the rest of the evening.
Today has been very much the same as yesterday. I usually keep peanuts in my office for snacking, but the sight of them today was awful. I had my sister, who I get to work with, take them away. Jamba Juice was a great choice again today for lunch, and it lasted all afternoon for sipping snacks.
I am feeling a little nervous about all the eating, since I've gained over 10 lbs from the start of the IVF cycle. I'm also feeling like I should be adding some activity back into my life, since I've been on restriction since the week 7 bleeding. I'm sure the extra snacks combined with the reduced activity is to blame for this weight, but I still feel a little guilty (or something) about it.
I'm going to attempt to brave artichokes and asparagus and mashed potatoes for dinner tonight. But it might end up that I head to the store for an Odwala, not because I want it necessarily, but because the thought of this other food is nauseating.
PS: At mothers day lunch another couple from our clinic sat at the table across from us. I'm sure she recognized me, but because we'd never had any interaction at the clinic it felt weird to have any interaction over lunch. She was totally wearing a maternity shirt, the kind with the bunched sides, and it was really nice to think that the cycle was a success for her too.
PPS: Mothers Day marked my one year blogging anniversary! It has been pretty incredible to read back through some of my old posts, and remember what we've been through. I bookmarked a dozen of the posts that were most meaningful to me and might share them in an upcoming blogosversary post. We'll see.
