Fatalistic Thinking - on Mother's Day no less.

I cried the whole way to celebrate Mother's Day yesterday. It was a long drive, about an hour. It wasn't that I am not grateful for the little voice in the backseat that wouldn't stop talking, but I am sad beyond belief that our attempts at growing our family are likely over. We have one more perfect embryo, but I'd have to stop using all of my medication that is contraindicated in pregnancy and I just don't see that happening. I am having these fatalistic thoughts that I am never going to get better, that I'll end up on medication forever, and never be able to go back to work, and end up on disability. Its not a very positive perspective, but it's how I'm feeling more often than not these days.