One of our sessions today was about "containment". and my homework is to write about it, how I felt, how I contain, what it brings up for me.
For me, this blog this blog this been a container for me. I can share things here, anything here. I have of fear of judgment, and only feel support. It is a safe place to where I can share essentially anything.
They talked about a physical container that we could write or draw things and put those things away. I thought about my wicker box that has help all of my fertility medication, and now holds all of the psychotic drugs that I take 4 times a day. I thought about taking a paper and writing a great big F. U.C.K on the paper and putting it in that god damn wicker box.
My other homework assignment was to walk around the block, which I did.
I keep having this feeling of; how did we get here. What the fuck happened? It turns out that the failed FET may simply have been a straw that broke the camel's back. The stress of Mr Fox's drinking given my own personal history of my dad's functional alcoholism has been building.
I am supposed to write about my dad, about his drinking, the secrets that existed in our family growing up. I'm not sure what to say though. Does a tree count as a container of sorts. a really complicated container that has beauty on the top and a complex system of hidden roots?
btw - all I want to eat are cookies.
1 comment :
I think a tree is a beautiful container. It transforms carbon dioxide into oxygen, therefore giving us life by it's own life-sustaining processes. A tree is solid and lives longer than we do. A tree offers us shade and a place to rest. A tree holds the ground around it together by its root system. We use the symbol of the tree to describe family (a family tree). I can see why you feel the tree is your container.
I think the work is starting for you. I think fighting with Mr. Fox is ok. I think you're probably angry and he needs to hear that, even if we know he is hurting too.
I sent you a few of my favorite books. I would like to do so much more. I am here at the ready, if you ever want more than comments. I care about you.
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