an alternative treatment plan

I called in sick to the outpatient program today. I really just needed a break to catch my breath and be home by myself. I haven't been alone in over two months. It was so needed. It feels great

Tomorrow we meet with my therapist. Mr Fox is coming. I am going to propose a revision to my recovery plan. I don't think that the program I am in is a perfect fit for what I need. The structure is great, but I am in such a different place than everyone else that it is hard to connect. Here is what I am going to propose:

I want to go to the mountains. I want to go stay at the condo I grew up visiting. I want to sit outside in the hammock. Sit on the porch and listen to the birds. Bundle up to watch the milky way at night. I want to get away from everything - the phone, the internet, the tv, all of it. There is essentially nothing to do up there except be. just be. read. listen. rest.

It is a 4 hour drive from where we live so it's not like a simple proposition. Mr Fox and I can go up on a Friday after work drive home Sunday evening. My mom could come up on Sunday afternoon and stay with me through the week, or until we decided we wanted to come home.  Mr Fox and I could go up just for the weekend on Friday 5/6 and drive home Sunday night 5/8. (I have a board meeting on Tuesday 5/10 that I can't miss). We could go up again on Friday 5/13, Mr Fox could drive home on Sunday 5/15 and my mom could come up to spend a few more days that week. In that case, Mr Fox could actually come up the following weekend and we could come home together on Sunday 5/22.

I'd like to do that as soon as possible and again in a few weeks.

In the meantime, I am going to propose that I go to the Outpatient Program either 2 or 3 days / week. On the other days I will:
- sleep in and nap
- do my writing assignments
- work in my garden
- do a youtube workout and/ or walk around the lake
- read my poetry books
- do other appointments like massage, nails, hair, etc
-  write gratitude/birthday/anniversary notes to friends
- Cultivate and listen to music that inspires and rejuvenates me.

I think that this sounds reasonable and responsible. I hope that the others agree.