The plan right now is to take things one day at a time, accepting that some days will be harder, and others easier, but that overall I am going to get stronger and healthier. This makes sense, logically, but just a little deeper the 'What If's" are still spinning strong. I woke from my drugged sleep last night mumbling about making a list of things to do.
How do I get from where I am right now, on all these medications, unable to drive or be left alone, to a place where I am healthy enough to grow a baby and be a mother?
Clearly I have a shit ton of trauma from our infertility journey that I need to work through, and I need a therapist who is going to hold my feet to the fire to do the work necessary to get healthy again. One of the reasons we chose CCRM for this final cycle was because they have a strong counseling component. My mom reminded me of this today and I called to see if I could schedule some phone sessions. These therapists know their stuff when it comes to infertility. BUT they can only 'treat' patients who are in Colorado.
I love my current therapist, but I think that it's time to find someone who really knows what I've been through and can push me to talk about the things that are hidden beneath the surface, the things that I am not going to bring up on my own. Please anyone, if you have a recomendation, please leave it in the comments.
Love to all,
PS: This is how we celebrated Little Fox's Birthday!
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