How could I possibly deserve more than this?

Hang on tight

Here we go again!

It was inevitable. or so it felt.

and as terrified as I was, we made the call. I made the call.

And we sat in that office, listening to the Dr tell us about the two perfect grade A embryos that are sitting on ice. Our embryos. Two perfect little embryos that were waiting for us.

and our perfect little boy at home who keeps saying that he is going to be a big brother. because that is what all of his friends are saying. even though we keep correcting him and reminding him that he is a big cousin, not a big brother.

But here we are. Sitting in this office again. and I am terrified.

Terrified of the roller coaster. terrified of a 'maybe' pregnancy. terrified of an infant. Terrified.

and he says "we've had a 60% rate of twins this last year". and I might get up and run.

But I do want it. as scared as I am. I do.

and so here we are.

wish me luck, send me love, I don't even know what to ask for.
I just know that I'm back here again, and I'm hanging on tight.