Lots of discussion about 'round 2' these days. It was the topic of discussion at baby class the other day. I panicked when I saw it written on the board, and actually contemplated leaving. The topic is beyond loaded and I just wasn't feeling able to 1) listen to others talk about their seemingly simple 'plans', or 2) make sense of my own thoughts on the subject enough to say something inteligible.
I mean, my immediate reaction to the question has been "oh Hell NO".
First, Pregnancy did a number on my body. My back SI joint is still a mess. I suspect that my tailbone is going to hurt forever. I am still carrying 15 extra lbs that won't seem to budge. My bladder control leaves something to be desired. and while it seems weird, I swear that I damaged my feet during delivery - they are so stiff and achey in the morning when I first get up now. Weird right?
Second, The first few months with babycakes were not pleasant. In fact, they were pretty awful. He was so unhappy, and nothing I did helped him. It felt like he hated me. The truth is that I wasn't so fond of him either. (yeah, i really said that about the baby that I fought SO hard for.) I was not graceful in my adjustment to my new responsibilities. I honestly do not think I could go through anything like that again. Really, the thought of having a newborn again terrifies me. I am even more terrified that if we tried again we'd end up with twins, and that scares me even more!
And finally, although it felt totally reasonable at the time, I have serious hesitations about going thru fertility treatments again. The emotional toll it takes just feels like more than I can handle again.
Everyone assures me that I will change my mind. That before I know it I'll catch the baby fever. I'm not so sure. But we do have two embryos on ice, and ML is intent on a sibling for babycakes.
SO, it IS a totally loaded question.
I know its okay to not have a plan, but people keep asking.
Loaded.
5 comments :
Totally loaded. Funny enough despite having twins and the first 6 months being really tough I was really yearning for another, but that has eased now (thank heavens because I als don't think I am up for fertility treatment again, but you never know).
As for your feet, I have also got the worst achy feet in the mornings since giving birth. I wondered whether the twins sucked some essential nutrient out of my body or whether carrying all the pregnancy weight has hurt my feet. Weird very weird, relieved I am not the only one with the foot thing.
!!!!
I have SI Joint trouble AND achey feet!!!!!! Mine not only hurt in the morning, but if I have been sitting with them crossed they KILL me.
WHAT IS THAT?!?
So glad I'm not alone.
Mixed feeling on #2 for me...
I was totally in the same boat before becoming pregnant with my son. In fact, I leaned more towards not having any more. But I'm so glad I did. He is a MUCH better baby than she was (I disliked her alot and the entire newborn phase). I love it this time and really enjoy it. He is such a blessing and I'm so glad now that we went for it even though I was terrified even until the day I delivered him.
I think you're still very very close to your baby's birth and that newborn stage. When Noah was Q's age I was not thinking about getting pregnant again whatsoever. I didn't want to go through fertility treatments anytime soon. It took another year after that before we went through treatments. And even then I don't think I would have if my best friend hadn't told me she was 11 weeks pregnant and brought all my jealousy and semi-baby-fever raging into focus.
Newborns are hard. And Isaiah is a LOT harder than Noah (and I'm going to go ahead say that I have had many moments where I don't enjoy or like him... like tonight after listening to hours of screaming... so don't feel guilty about that). If he had been my first, I don't know that I would already have another baby. As it is, I am 99% sure I will not be attempting to get pregnant again until sometime in 2015. I love my kids, and I want more than 2, but I shudder at the though of going through pregnancy and the newborn stage again. Ugh. Seriously, I just shuddered.
I totally get it. I can't even entertain the thought of trying again for many of the same reasons you listed.
The IF, the nightmare of a time we had when they were preemies/newborns, PPD, etc. etc.
I'm content at the moment as well.
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