this and that

Oh my goodness, it is really ICLW again? I totally forgot to sign up this month.

I've written so many posts in my head these past few weeks, but haven't made it to the computer to write anything down. I swear that I've become much more tired in my second trimester than I was in the first. It also feels like I have so many more evening commitments, making for long days.

I think I'll make this a Friday leftovers kind of post, since I really do have so much to catch up on...

First things first, my father in law is really sick. We knew that he had been admitted to the hospital earlier this week because he was having some heart problems. This man is like a medical rockstar though and while we keep close tabs on him when there are medical issues, we don't usually worry. This time was different. ML got a call on Thursday morning from FIL's wife who sounded quite distressed and explained that things were much more serious that FIL had let on. She didn't tell us to come, but it was clear that they were quickly running out of medical options to manage the situation. We immediately got in the car and headed to Vegas. ML's sister received the same call that morning and was on a flight an hour later. Its been a long 30 hours, but FIL is a fighter and has been stable since we arrived. He's in the cardiac ICU heavily sedated but seems to be responding well to the 5 hr surgery he had yesterday (where he flatlined and they had to do CPR to bring him back). ML and his sister stayed at the hospital last night and are there for the night again tonight. ML and his dad are really close and I feel like ML really needs his dad here as he transitions into parenthood.

Because we are camped out in the ICU, I am not in my normal routine and not eating on my normal schedule. Apparently I waited too long between breakfast and lunch today. As we were ordering our lunch my stomach turned and I had to run out of the restaurant to throw up. It was embarrassing, and has left my stomach feeling messed up for the rest of the day. I thought because I made it through the first trimester without tossing my cookies that I was in the clear. No such luck :) (but I am most definitely not complaining :)

We had our 20 week ultrasound on Thursday morning. It was very cool to see the baby again and to know that everything is still looking good. The OB said that the baby is growing on the big side, but that is great as long as I am eating healthy things, which I am. I'd wanted to ask her about home birth with a midwife, but we'd gotten the call from ML's step-mom right before she came into the room, and I was more worried about talking to ML about what was going on with his dad. I really like our OB and wish that we could keep her on our team, so that I can still get the 34 week ultrasound, and as a contingency in case we needed to transfer to the hospital from a home birth. Unfortunately our medical system is not set up to allow for that.

Speaking of homebirth, we met last week with a local homebirth midwife. It felt so right. I can't even remember all of what was discussed, but we talked for about an hour with the MW and her apprentice.  They asked us some questions that led ML to laugh and tell them about our experience to get pregnant. One of the reasons a homebirth feels so right to me is the chance that it gives us to reclaim ownership of this experience. At one point ML asked what kind of supplies we would need for a homebirth, specifically if we would need "one of those tubs". I feel so lucky that he is so open and supportive to these options, that I wouldn't have even thought to bring up. They asked about our expectations for labor and delivery and I realized that so much of my focus has been on the ultimate outcome of holding our child, that I really haven't given much thought to the actual birth. They asked me about my birth fantasy to which I honestly answered that it is simply to end up holding this baby. I told them that I would have had very different answers to these questions five years ago, but so much has changed since then. They felt that we were excellent candidates for homebirth and would love to work with us. We haven't made any decisions, but I think that we are strongly leaning towards the homebirth option.

I got an email today from a new local IF friend who also blogs at http://pathtonewhope.blogspot.com/. She has been through so much, including the death of her premature twins a couple years ago, and just gave IVF another try. She had her beta on Tuesday and I've been waiting anxiously to hear from her. The news is good and she is officially pregnant! I am so excited, and nervous, for her. Please stop by and send some peace and love her way.

I also want to send out a big huge congratulations to Katie at http://www.fromiftowhen.com/. I LOVE her blog, my heart breaks for her journey, and I am so proud of her for winning the 2011 RESOLVE Hope Award for best blog. Go Katie! May this year bring many other wonderful surprises to this awesome lady!