Week 10

How far along? 10 Weeks

How is Mommy Feeling? 

• Scared that this is too good to be true. Feeling like I’ve read too many stories where everything falls apart. Trying to reframe my thoughts in the positive.
• Counting every day as one day closer to our dream.
• Still very disconnected from this additional heart that is beating inside of me. It has clearly taken over control of my body, but still feels very surreal. 
• I actually contemplated a life without children the other day. It was as if it is finally ‘safe’ to actually explore those thoughts and feelings. But it seemed a very bizarre set of emotions to be surfacing. 
• A bit surprised by how I’m feeling, it is so much different than what I expected.

How is Daddy Feeling? 

• He’s wondering what fruit the baby is compared to this week. (at least that’s what he told me when i asked about his week 10 thoughts.)
• He also continues to toss name ideas out for discussion and consideration.

Total weight gain? 

• 12 lbs from the start of the IVF cycle (.5 lbs this week)
• I’ve never weighed this much and honestly it freaks me out a little. My weight has always been pretty stable at 155, up from 145 when I graduated from high school 15 years ago. It also freaks me out that I’ve gained so much so fast - feels a little out of control. 

Symptoms? 

• My boobies are not sore, they are painfully sore. I am in pain. And my nipples are beyond sensitive, so much so that I’ve taken to wearing some padded bra inserts that take the pressure of the bra fabric off of my nipples.
• My stomach has taken control. Foods that used to be good are no longer welcome, and the mix of hunger and food repulsion is a strange one to get used to. Jamba Juice blueberry smoothie and Odwala Vanilla protien drinks have been staples in my diet this week.
• I had an incredibly busy work week, and I’m tired. Came home in between meetings yesterday and today for a rest. 
• Still waking up to pee once or twice every night.
• Out of breath from very little activity, its been this way for weeks. ML joked that we will have to start taking the elevator to prevent me from passing out after we climb a flight of stairs.

The Belly? 

- I think that it is there and growing, although right now it just looks like I’ve put on a few lbs. You know, like the freshman 15.

Sleep? 

• I am feeling more restless as night. Might be the waking up to pee, or just having pent up energy from being on restricted activity during the day. 
• My boobies cry out in pain from typical sleep movement, but the thought of wearing a sports bra to sleep makes my nipples scream out in pain.
• ML’s wiggles are beyond irritating to me. I know he’s not doing it on purpose, but geez, I can’t stand it.

What I miss? 

• I keep having these amazing dreams about getting it on with My Lover. Clearly my desires take over in my sleep. 
• I ordered my favorite gorgonzola Fuji apple salad ... sans the gorgonzola. It just isn’t the same. 
• Exercise, I’ve been on restricted activity since the week 7 bleeding. I am honestly scared to start doing more, but need the physical outlet of some walking and exercise classes.

Big News this Week? 

• We went a whole week without an ultrasound! and I’m feeling good about it. 
• There is a doula fair on Sunday and I brought the idea up with ML who agreed to go and check it out. (My mom is a doula, but I want to give ML the chance to explore the concept, and decide who he might feel most comfortable with.)