A Reason to Smile

ML and I spend a lot of time on the couch, with the tv on, while both of us are on our computer. Bestie laughs at us, but i suppose its our thing.

I love that man so much. I adore all of his different little quirks.

He has been playing a new video game and hums ever so softly as he plays. I love it. I adore it. It makes me bust out a great big smile every time I hear it.

I almost said something to him last night, about his adorable hum, but stopped myself. I doubt he knows that he is doing it, and it I say something he might stop. So instead, I sit here with him on the couch, catch his hum every so often, and have the sweetest reason to smile.

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In other news, I am having a great week at work. It feels so good to be back in the game. I am getting caught up and refocused on the outcomes that I want to achieve this year. It feels good to have that purpose.  This will be a really hard job to leave someday.
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ML and I went out to dinner to celebrate our (belated) anniversary the other night. We had a really great conversation. I was able to talk to him about how I was feeling. He is usually really responsive if I can just tell him what is going on in my head. It was also really REALLY helpful to be able to tell him that what he is feeling, what we are experiencing is normal. I can't thank you all enough for your comments to my emotional post last week. You heard and understood exactly what I was feeling. Hearing that so many of you have had similar experiences was,,, well, I just don't have the words,,, it was amazing. I only wish that we could have sat in a room for hours talking about it all!

I also had a good conversation with Bestie about it all. Her husband is pretty amazing. He works all day, comes home and plays with Little One, then he and Little One make dinner together, and he then walks her to sleep every night. He is one of the most hands on involved dads I've ever seen. Even so, there are times Bestie said when she feels like he should be doing more. She knows just how sweet ML is on me and we laughed about our crazy unachievable expectations.
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A final note for the night... I wish so much that I had some pregnancy symptoms.  Some cramps, Sore boobs, increased urination, nausea, anything that will give me a sign that I am pregnant. Please Please Please can I have some pregnancy symptoms!

I go in for my first blood test tomorrow, but they won't tell us the results until after the second blood test on Friday. I am fine waiting for Friday, if only because it gives me two extra days of this hopeful feeling.

(Mama, Sister, Bestie - if you are reading this, I am going to tell you that we won't know until Monday, Okay? ML and I need the weekend to have this information for just us. So much else of this private process has been shared, and we want just a few days of privacy. Please just play along with me and don't ask until Monday okay? Speak now, or hold your peace till Monday :)