I am a coffee drinker. Every morning I emerge from bed and make myself comfortable on the couch with I slowly sip my morning cup of joe. There is just as much ritual as there is time for the caffeine to make its way through my system.
I love my morning cup of coffee. I used to have two, or even three cups some days, but when we really started ttc I made an effort to cut down to one cup... at least during the 2ww every month. I used to think that any baby I conceived would need to prove itself strong enough to survive my habits, and that there would always be another chance to conceive. (I choke a little thinking that I could have ever thought that, but I did.)
All coffee restrictions went out the window between the time that we go the azoospermia diagnosis and last October when we did our first IUI. I even quit taking prenatals for a portion of that time. It was my way small of rebelling against our situation. (Like when I am upset I sometimes choose to not to brush my teeth before bed, as if that is a way to get back at the world for making me upset. Strange, I know.)
Even when we did our two IUI cycles I maintained my morning one cup of coffee ritual. I felt good about it, like it was a balanced decision. I didn't want to be too extreme about anything, and besides, I really loved my coffee. Dr Google also provided me with enough research to help me rationalize that one cup of coffee per day while pregnant was fine.
So now, here we are 2 day post my 3 day transfer (2dp3dt) and I can't bring myself to drink any coffee. My hesitation started the morning of our transfer. ML poured me a small cup delivered to me as I sat curled on the couch. I had a sip, but that was it. I wanted to drink it, I just couldn't. The dog accidentally knocked over the cup spilling my coffee all over the floor, and I actually felt good knowing that my cup was empty.
Then yesterday morning, I emerged from bed, shuffled to the kitchen, pulled a little white mug from the cupboard, reached for the hot coffee pot, but stopped short of pouring the delicious beverage into my mug. I rummaged around thinking that maybe I'd feel better about making a pot of decaf, but couldn't find any decaf grinds. Confused about what to do next I make a cup of hot chocolate. I needed... something!
What to do... I can at least get away without coffee if I don't have to be awake and leave the house before noon, but I have to go back to work tomorrow. Its going to be ugly for everyone if I try and do it without the caffeine!
I'm also a little hung up about letting myself get too extreme about anything. I know myself, and I know that I can get caught up in things. But, this possible pregnancy, I want to be able to let is be just what it is, not try to make it be anything more of less. I don't want to become one of those crazy obsessed pregnant women who freak out about every little thing.
I am curious to hear your opinions, but I don't expect that I'll be drinking any coffee anytime soon. I will pick up some decaf and see if I can rationalize that as a better option, one that allows me to maintain some semblance of normalcy for the time being. Or maybe the morning hot coco will become my new ritual.
7 hours ago
29 comments :
This post just made me chuckle, thinking about my own ridiculous caffeine rituals.
In the last two months I have switched over completely from coffee to chai (which still has caffeine, but I reason it has less caffeine and I drink less of it). My husband makes the strongest chai in the world, which is practically coffee and which must be drunk with a large dosing of sugar. I have had decaf a couple of times where the craving just became too strong, but my goodness to I miss the real stuff.
I am a hug coffee drinker too :) I play by the one cup a day rule and then lots of decaf. I know that other people are much more strict about this but my RE told me that one cup and decaf is fine. I think you have to do what you are comfortalble with.
This was a hard one for me, because I need my caffeine in the morning! I cut down my evening cup, and drink Ovaltine-chocolate instead (since i am lactose intolerant, I can have it with some lactose free milk).
As for the morning cup, I drink a quarter cup (with quarter tsp intant coffee- since its lighter than brewed coffee) these days. Its almost like cheating - I feel better that i get my caffeine, but I am hopefully not drinking so much that it will affect anything. Also, I completely cut down on my dark chocolates (miss!!!).
I'd say, have a teeny bit and over time you can probably let it go. Cutting down caffeine completely gives me headaches.
I've been drinking coffee since I was 17...so for me, the thought of quitting was impossible! However, around this time last year I decided I was going to give myself every opportunity to conceive on my own without medical intervention (this was after my 4 IUI's failed, and we weren't ready for IVF yet.)It was really really tough...but I did it. I did it over a long weekend....I had headaches for 4 days straight. But, I am glad I did because now I don't have to worry about quitting.
I do drink decaf on most mornings because I need something hot and love the taste! I will probably quit even that we get close to our FET and just do tea in the morning. I don't know if any of this will make a difference, but I also want to be able to be able to tell mysef that I did everything I could.....
I don't know if it made any difference at all, but the first two iui rounds I kept with my coffee routine of 1-2 cups each morning. The third round I decided to take control of everything I could possibly do to make any tiny difference. I do not regret giving it up for a second. There is so little that we have any control of in this situation, I guess it made me feel better that I was doing what little I could.
That being said, I don't think there is any solid medical evidence that 1-2 cups a day makes a difference when TTC.
But as you've made the decision to cut out coffee - I'll be right there with you - tired and groggy in the mornings :)
There should be a TTC Coffee Drinkers Rehab somewhere. I, too, relish my cup of coffee in the morning. For me, it's not so much at home but at work. Everyday, I walk into my classroom and am greeted with the amazing aroma of a pot of freshly brewed coffee. I started to cut it down to one cup rather than the 2 or 3 I'm accustomed to. Now, I've moved away from coffee and am drinking tea. My morning cup is a lightly steeped Earl Grey. So for now, I'm forgoing that morning cup of coffee and I'm sticking to my vanilla rooibos for now. :)
Hi!
I was all rebellious feeling about all of the supposed no-nos, swearing to myself that I was going to be European about things and have everything in moderation... Well, that idea strangely went out the window during the 2ww.. and then I got pregnant and it's like I am mysteriously controlled by something other than myself, and I have not had any of my beloved coffee, wine, sushi, etc. It's weird. I do want it but there is a protective instinct that I did not expect. I do drink decaf, hot chocolate and decaf tea... I hope you get your positive.. and perhaps your morning sickness will take care of all of this, at least for a while.
I love my morning coffee, and can't imagine a morning without it... But, I think I would feel the same way as you do now... Especially after the dog knocked over the cup... I would be sure that it was a sign! If it makes you feel better, I do those "minor revolts" too. Mine usually is not washing my hair one morning if I know I am going to have a bad day.
Here from ICLW! I'm a firm one cup a day-er. I stopped when we first got "serious" about TTC and started drinking tea to get a little caffeine. I let myself drink one small latte on the weekends. Then, as things started to drag on, I said "screw that." But, it still was just one cup a day. Then, when we were on a two month pause after a lap, I went whole hog crazy for caffeine again! Now that we're back on the cycling bandwagon, I'm trying to cut it out again. I just keep thinking "what if it's the one thing..." even knowing that it is very unlikely to be so. I miss it. :(
I'm not much help here because with coffee I can take it or leave it although PC bought me a Keurig for my birthday and I was taking it a lot more than leaving it. My weakness is sweet tea and I decided to give it up through this cycle and just drink water/some juice. I had a post similar to this & people were so helpful to give ideas just as they have in previous comments here. I really don't think one cup of coffee or a glass of sweet tea is detrimental in the 2WW or pregnancy but I went for overall health improvement and started by learning to love water. Good Luck!
I am not a big coffee drinker. I enojy it but don't crave it each day.
I have however found myself doing the same thing with the prenatals
I laughed at your story about not brushing your teeth. I do the same thing! It's like I am throwing a fit and stomping my feet, "I'll show you world! I'll get cavities and then you'll see how mean you are to me!".
As for caffeine, I have always been a two shot espresso drinker since college. I have never gone down in consumption and some days need three shots.
When I actually became pregnant I stopped two weeks after the BFP. It was hard but I did it. Now, recovering from miscarriage, I have vowed to never pick it up until I have a six month old. At this point I cannot take any chances. Good luck to you! It's a tough habit to break.
I am a huge coffee drinker. I gave up for my first two pregnancys which I miscarried but kept drinking my one morning coffee for my third pregnancy and ended up with my healthy boy. So go figure. I would say enjoy that one cup a day!
I love me my coffee too! I knew I would have to try to stop or at least cut back for this IVF and I have been dreading it. I had gastritis in November and had to quit cold turkey and I had a headache for 5 days straight. But I have switched to to half-caff for now and plan on going to decaf after my ET.
I'm with you too... when not TTC, I would usually have 2 - 3 really strong espressos and they really help lift me up in the morning. I even drank at least one espresso every day during my pregnancy with our now perfectly healthy toddler... but after my transfer last week - I can't bring myself to drink any coffee at all. It probably doesn't make a huge amount of difference, but I want to know that I've done everything I possibly can for this little one.... just like you :) Decaf is a good option xoxo
I don't know the science behind this at all, but I figure fewer chemicals in your system is probably a good thing for your mojo. I wish you luck!
ICLW
Coffee. Sigh. I miss it so very much. I quit when I started working with the traditional Chinese medicine doctor in September. Haven't drank it since. It's very difficult to live without it. I REALLY enjoy it. But I've been surviving on green and black tea. Good luck making your choice about coffee or no coffee.
God it's not fair we have to give up so much!
I think soemtimes the stress of deoriving ourselves can be hard...I would say 1 cup or maybe 1 cup of half caf would be fine!
hi from ICLW...ha, i do the same teeth thing--screw you universe, take that! :) anyways, per my acupuncturist from past, she said no caffeine. none. then, again, she also felt i should boil and drink some dirt/leaves mixture that i'm fully convinced came from her back yard. in all things moderation is probably the best advice, though coffee does contain a ton of caffeine, so moderation may look more like very other day.
I changes out for one cup of tea - not sure how much better it is, but it solved my headache on the weekend problem... I don't think I'll be giving it up - but sometimes it's black, and sometimes it's herbal - so I'll pro'ly switch to herbal for the 2ww.
Deep Breathes. My RE AND my OB said one cup a day is fine...actually better if you have been a long time coffee drinker. I get horrible migraines if I don't drink at least one cup a day, and they said the inflammatory process that would cause would do more hinderence than the actual caffiene would.
The physical stress of migraines I mean- does that make since?
The RE went on to explain the chemical make up on coffee and caffiene, and the research he has,well- researched b/c he has had SO MANY woman devestated b/c they thought their coffee drinking in the 2ww caused the embryo to not implant.
Crazy stuff- Green tea has been PROVEN to inhibit iron absorbtion, and is very high in caffiene. My RE AND OB told me to stay away from it interestingly enough.
You can find just about anything out there to support both sides of the fence on this one.
Yes, caffiene crosses the placenta- but the placenta doesn't take over until what- around the 12-13th week? Until then, does it cross into the gestational sac? Quite unknown, but it isn't a teritogentic.
I DO know that the half life of caffiene in an infant is 96 hours. When we had preemies that we would give it for apnea and bradycardia...and to go home, they had to be off the drug for 7 days so that we knew no residual drug was stopping the A&Bs.
SO- I will be making sure I try and cut it out bfore I deliver..but I know a stray cuppa here and there won't hurt. THEN after delivery and nursing, I will limit my cup to in the AM..and really try and do half caf, but the levels in breast milk are pretty low...so the effects don't generally last that long in the baby. Especially if she/he was exposed to it en utero.
Seriously- are you willing to give up coffee all together? Check out this link http://www.camh.net/Publications/Resources_for_Professionals/Pregnancy_Lactation/per_caffeine.html
has some pretty good info on it. I can't find the .edu study we went over in our Neontal ICU class/Breastfeeding educator class...but I will try. It really isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things.
ENJOY your cup in the AM.
PS...did you see my tweet about the crazy person in Starbucks today basically telling me I am bad mom for getting coffee when I am pregnant? One that has only 37.5mg of caffiene? SERIOUSLY? I was not a happy person then.
She was obviously clueless that I educated myself in what is the caffiene content of my drink. She was probably the type to eat bars of chocolate and not think a thing about the caffeine in it. ugh.
My struggle was with Pepsi/Coke. I could never handle the bitter taste of coffee so cola was my ticket to Caffeine Land.
I meant to give it up totally during pregnancy but never... quite... got around to it. I did reduce drastically though. That helps, right?
Hmmm, I pretty much gave up caffiene when we started TTC and certainly try to be good as much as possible. I changed over to decaf only once a week (a special treat), but have heard that decaf can actually be even worse that caffiene?!? I am also trying hard to to be too extreme, but I am also of the opinion that if there is evidence that it is bad, then I would rather not chance it. Good luck finding a suitable replacement if you decide to give it up - not easy.
truly, I think it's fine to have a little bit, but honestly -- I never did during treatment cycles. I convinced myself that tea was healing, and good. And in between cycles, and ever since, decaf is king! (swiss water processed only). Good luck!!
I definitely thought twice while I was pregnant--I think it's okay though. Coffee drinks became a treat for me. I DID indulge in a cup of hot cocoa every afternoon (which has caffine in it too--I know)--chalk full of marshmallows. Not that powdery Swiss Miss stuff--real hot cocoa with cocoa powder and real sugar and a small dash of cinnamon. Mmmm.... :)
Oh, I can so relate to this. With each successive miscarriage and the IVF failure, I get this attitude like drinking tons of coffee and eating junk and drinking booze and slacking on my workouts is somehow exacting revenge upon my body for its colossal faillings. And then I get pregnant again, or decide to TTC again, or whatever, and go all health-nut again, and still tell myself that it's important, that this time it'll make a difference. Which, of course, it never does. My egg issues are well beyond the "maybe cutting coffee will help" realm. And yet, I want to believe it will.
Happy ICLW from #47.
This is one of my (not so) favorite topics. I researched this quite a bit when I first started TTC. Here's basically what I found out: The limit that most literature suggests is no more than 2 cups of coffee worth of caffeine a day. Remember there is caffeine from other sources too-decaf, sodas, even chocolate. So whatever you consume it should be no more than that. The two cups a day or less theory seems to be the most accepted. My RE recommended no more than two; for a while I didn't do anything but decaf. The research does indicate the following:
* consumption of caffeine tends to be related to ovulatory dysfunction, particularly caffeine from diet sodas
*> 2 cups per day can interfere with implantation (I always went more on the wagon after my IUIs)
*If you drink more than 2 cups of coffee worth of caffeine (300mg) per day, you are 27% less likely to conceive than those who do not;
*If you are also consuming alcohol, caffeine can make the detremental effect of that more pronounced
*More caffeine related issues seem to arise from diet sodas than coffee
I don't like this info/answer, but for me I'm sticking to one cup per day until embryo transfer, then none until I know.
There's a link on the right side of my blog if you want to know more. At this point I'm sure you're sorry you asked :) but I hope this helps!
i'm missing my coffee these days too. weaned myself from caffeine when i started stims. drinking decaf now bc a warm morning beverage makes me happy.
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