I wasn't surprised to see that listed as a precaution, since just days before they'd pierced the walls of my vag with big huge needles, leaving a stitch behind to close the wound. I wanted those wounds healed completely before welcoming anything else up in there, if you know what I mean!
Okay, time out. I've been reading these blogs for almost a year.
How in the world did I miss the fact that sex is banned for 3 months after IVF?
How in the world was I not aware of this until yesterday afternoon?
Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to follow ALL of the rules and precautions, I have a lot invested in this, but I sure as heck reserve the right to complain about it! and no, the irony of the face that not only did we not have sex to get pregnant, but we can't have sex once we are does not escape me.
ML had stepped out of the room during the discussion with the nurse, so i had to break the news to him in the car on our way home. He was as shocked as I - I mean, three months is kind of a really long time! I texted/tweeted the girls (you know who you are) and got a ton of feedback affirming the 'precaution'. How could I have miss this before? I called my mom to tell her that the transfer went well, but also to pick her brain about why such a precaution might exist. She had some theories but was just guessing. I called Bestie to express my dismay.
I think the thing that I am most surprised about it that this was a surprise to me. Is no one else writing about this? Do the Dr's think that this isn't the kind of thing that they might want to warn us about in advance?
25 comments :
I've never heard about 12 weeks of abstaining. In the package I picked up today, they recommended 2 weeks. Twelve weeks seems too extreme.
Yea, my doc has the same rule but I'm a bit of a rebel. I lasted 9 days after retrieval hehe! And I still got pregnant. I miscarried of course, but I don't think that had anything to do with the sex. I would hold off on the orgasms though, just to be sure.
I have never heard that and Ive been reading about as long as you! (10 months) that's kinda crazy to me. It seems rather extreme. I'd not be happy, either an I definitely reserve the right to complain about things through if treatments. No matter how happy I am to go trough them
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Ha! That's the first I've heard/read about that precaution. Hmm... something no one wants to mention.
Sorry, I've been gone so long. I'm so glad that everything has gone well up to this point. I do find it strange that they would make you abstain until 12 weeks! I think that is crazy! My RE said to wait until 5 weeks and a visual heartbeat - and that was plenty long (it was only 3 weeks after the transfer but still). I've never heard of waiting 10 weeks. Yikes.
I read that in one of my 15 books on IVF, and I didn't want to believe it. I mean, they also say 72 hours of bed rest after transfer but my doc only requires 24. I don't know if it makes a difference or not, but I can not imagine no orgasms for 3 months!
Interesting...that is the first time I've heard that too! I knew about the 2WW, but I thought it was okay start getting it on again after that. I'll definitely be asking my RE about that!! My husband has been trying to get in as much sex as possible because he thinks once I'm pregnant I won't want to!! LOL!
Okay so I think she might have just been trying to scare you. When we went for our information session the nurse leading it said no sex until 12 weeks if you are pregnant with one and no sex all pregnancy if you are pregnant with multiples. The reality was that there was no sex allowed after retrieval until you have a positive beta and the pregnancy is confirmed through ultrasound. Once that is done as long as the RE says it's okay. I'm pregnant with twins and we were given the go ahead at 8 weeks. So hang in there and don't get worried yet.
our first clinic said 12 weeks but when my husband questioned the doctor, he said those were really 'the nurse's rules' and he was fine with us having sex. we lasted until 11 weeks the first time. this time around our doctor said we could have sex after we saw the heartbeat, and we did (no orgasm, but i spotted after=hate). my husband is in a far away land now, so no sex for most, if not all of this pregnancy!.
best of luck to you and your beautiful embies!!
xoxo
lis
My RE recommends waiting until 7 weeks, but even that I haven't brought up to my husband yet! ;) Although, like you said, I'd do it for a year if it meant a baby or two!
That does seem like a lengthy abstinence period, doesn't it? We haven't been instructed on anything pas beta, but I suspect our clinic won't have that rule. They are overall fairly laid back. I'll let you know if I find out more.
I don't understand how things can vary so much doctor to doctor. We were told no rest at all is necessary after transfer and we only can't have sex for 1 week. I'd heard about waiting longer from other people who've done IVF so I questioned them and they said it was fine! Last cycle I imposed a no sex rule on my husband until beta, but I have no idea what the real "rule" is on this!
I don't know if its an IVF thing only. I sure didn't hear a thing about it for IUI... We were at it before we knew I was pregnant...
Well, you won't regret taking all precautions. That's how I felt about cutting out caffeine...Although I'm guessing you'll miss it more than coffee ;)
OMG I had no idea you were supposed to wait that long!
It is weird how different everything is from doc to doc. My RE doesn't require any bedrest, he actually said I could go back to work the day of transfer. This just seems wrong!
I had an Idea that there was going to be a period of abstention after transfer - I knew my clinic doesn't allow it until after Beta day. I guess it's another question to ask - maybe at the injection class on Friday. Better to ask now that be horribly surprised.
Wow I had no idea!
This is the first I've heard about that! Wow... 3 months?! At this point in the infertility game it seems counterintuitive haha We go so long being told to have sex practically everyday and so this just comes across as weird.
lmao.... 12 weeks is FOREVER!!! but really once you make it to beta it has already been 4 weeks... have to look at the half full glass :D
best of luck!!
xoxo
Haven't heard that one before either... and I've already had my transfer ! Maybe it's something that the clinics presume we hear about somewhere else... part of the great big mystery that is called IVF I guess xoxo
I think this differs from one doctor to another. A friend was not banned from sex at all after transfer and in fact her hubby wanted to know how your body would know to get pregnant if it didn't have sex? My doc was "no sex until test day" and this time we stuck to it. So when I emailed him to check whether we could do the deed after our BFP I was shocked when he said "yes!" We still haven't been brave enough, but every doc has a protocol that they feel has worked for their patients.
Hang in there, once you get that BFP you may not want your hubby near "just in case"
I don't know if its just us, but we haven't done it since the positive beta, even though ours was just an IUI. It could have something to do with my spotting and my lack of interest in inserting anything that could cause more spotting and worry. I doubt there is anything scientific to it all....but if it gives you a baby in the end, its probably worth the wait!
I haven't heard that before either - with our transfer about a month out I am not sure I want to warn my husband! He will not be happy about that one!! I am sure it varies from dr. to dr. - seems like most things do - I sure wish they would all get on the same (or at least close to the same) page.
Good luck!!
Sounds strange to me. I haven't heard about it either. Will be interesting to see what the instructions are for us when time comes.
Hello from ICLWland! I wish you the best of luck with your celibacy! LOL! Here's to hoping that it lasts long after your 2ww (cause that will mean pregnancy!)!
NO SEX!!! LOL.
I remember when you asked me this and I was just dumbfounded, because I swear no one told us, but we also didn't have any for a VERY VERY Long time ;)
Hoping 12 weeks bring you some afternoon delight my friend. xo
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