Dearest Bestie,
Congratulations. From the depths of my soul I am so excited about your big announcement. It is the most wonderful news that a family could want, and I feel overwhelmed with love for you and the new life that is growing inside of you.
Little One is the most precious little girl. I love being her auntie and watching her grow and giggling with her, too. I love watching you be her mother and seeing how beautifully you attend to her needs. She is going to be a wonderful big sister.
This was always your plan. You always knew that you’d have two, and that they’d be about two years apart. I knew that this announcement was imminent. I even had a dream last week that you were pregnant.
I knew that it wasn’t fair when I told you (and my sister) that you couldn’t get pregnant before me. I knew it wasn’t fair, but I said it because it was how I felt. Nothing about it was fair, that I put such an unfair condition on you, or that I felt desperate enough to start my own family that I would ever say something so unfair to you. I am so sorry for the anguish that statement caused you. It just wasn’t fair.
My heart broke as you delivered such wonderful news to me with such sadness. Your compassion for me has been incredible, and yet I hate that my struggle negatively overshadows what should wonderful moments in our lives.
To be honest, I didn’t know how I would feel when I got this news. These past few years I’ve been betrayed by my reactions and caught unprepared to deal with unexpected responses to normal wonderful things, like christmas cards for example. My reactions have not been fair or predictable, and have taken me captive on too many occasions.
When I said that you couldn’t get pregnant again until after I got pregnant, I really meant it. I want so much to be pregnant and start our family, and it is hard to see that other people can have this thing that I want so much with seemingly little effort. And yet, at the same time, there is no way that I could say something like that and really mean it. I want you to have everything you want. And just as I know that you would do anything to help make my dreams come true, I would do the same for you.
I want you to know that I am full of nothing but joy for you right now. I love you and cherish our friendship. I really am overjoyed that you will be having another beautiful little one (or two, hehe.)
With a little luck I won’t be far behind you, ideally if this cycle works it’ll only be 5 weeks or so. And even if this cycle is a bust and we continue on our journey, I have faith for the first time since we started trying that eventually, one way or another, our children will someday play together. Until then I am so blessed to call you my Bestie.
I love you, and Congratulations!
10 comments :
Very well said. You are lucky to have such a compassionate best friend who knows that while her news is exciting, it would also cause you some pain. Praying that you will indeed be just a few weeks behind her!
Your bf is lucky to have you! You guys obviously have a great relationship for her to be so worried about your reaction. It is hard to make others feel guilty for having what you want...it's like going to wedding after wedding after stupid wedding when you are still single and searching.
Doesn't it suck that IF takes away the opportunity to experience complete joy about such great news for someone you love without tinges of jealousy, fear, regret, and sadness? In spite of that, you have shown your love for you best friend with appreciation and honesty. Big hopes that you follow right along with her soon!
This is so well said and it sounds like both you and your friend have really worked hard to support and understand each other.
its obvious that both you and your bestie take extra care to be kind and thoughtful to one another. regardless of what else is going on in your life, that's something really special.
i know its painful to see someone so close doing something you want so badly, but i do believe the day will come when you can watch your children playing together.
I'm so glad you wrote this and let it out of your heart and head. I actually told my little sister on her wedding day that "if she dared get PG before me I'd never speak to her again"...wow, NOT my finest moment. So I know exactly how you feel. I really do. You say the words, you feel the feelings but you don't want your best friend of sister or whoever to suffer either.
I am just glad you have each other..and I am glad that ou are still optimistic and working hard for baby...I know your good news is coming soon too.
love and NEW YEAR HUGS
xoxo
This is great that you can get out your feelings here!
My best friend and I started trying for a baby at the same time (although we didn't know that). She was very optimistic and really wanted us to have kids close together. She got pregnant the first month trying. She was so compassionate and understanding as the months & years passed with no baby for me. We had a neat way that we announced our pregnancy to our families and I knew she should find out the same way. When I gave her the card and she figured out what it all meant she started crying. I told her that she needed to plan for #2 so that we could get the chance to have kids close in age. She said "Yeah, K and I will get right on that." I could read it immediately in her face even without her saying a word. I said "you are already pregnant aren't you?" She tried not to answer, but finally said "how did you know?" I just told her that I had a weird sixth sense about that stuff. She was actually 3 weeks ahead of me and had been dreading telling me. I asked her why she didn't tell me when I told her my news and she told me she wanted me to have that moment to myself. She was so awesome!
She has since had #3 and while I wasn't trying again it was still hard to deal with that she just has to look at her husband and gets pregnant. Her plan of 3 kids with 2 years between each pregnancy was so easy to stick by and still makes me jealous!
I am so glad that you have an understanding best friend like I do and I know that you will get to share your news with her soon!
Wow...such a beautiful and loving letter. It says everything, good and bad emotions, in such an honest way and ultimately ends up being truly inspiring. Made me think about the way I have reacted to recent pregnancy announcements... would I have the courage to write something like this? Would it even be honest? And the answer is unfortunately no. Luckily for your best friend, you are much more compassionate and understanding. This is inspiring in so many ways. Thank you for writing it, thank you more for making it public.
I feel the same way about my sisters-in-law. I'll die if they get pregnant again before I do. This was a nice letter.
love this letter... so sweet...brought tears to my eyes. i am convinced that you will get to take a tummy-to-tummy picture with bestie, showing both of your growing tummys... this WILL happen;) love always XOXO
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