I rushed out of the office to pick up ML for our appointment at 3pm today. I was looking forward to starting this cycle and feeling so hopeful. The wand exam was a uncomfortable, and I watched on the screen as the Doc measured what I thought were my ovaries on each side. Then he stopped and said that the little bubbles were cysts. We would have to wait for the cysts to go away before we could proceed.
I got dressed and we met in his office to talk a little more. He wanted to prescribe bcp to help shrink the cysts down. The few times that I'd ever tried to take BCP in the past, they made me sick. I always stopped because the nausea was too much. But if this is what we needed to do, I was ready to sign up.
But then we started looking at the calendar for December, and it turns out that my December cycle would likely conflict with the two days of vacation that the Doc is planning to take over the NYE holiday. So we will have to cancel December as well. Gosh dang it.
He agreed that two months of natural cycle would be enough to shrink my cysts, so we are skipping the bcp, and just going to start again with my January cycle.
Needless to say I am so sad.
ML is as sad as I am. (I'm not sure if it is because he is sad for me, or if it is because he really does want this as much as I do. It doesn't really matter, it feels so much better knowing that he is sad with me.) He talked about just wanted to crawl into a hole.
I am contemplating become agoraphobic. Giving up on everything else and just hunkering down at home on my couch. Either that, or getting on a plane to Maui (or maybe Vegas) to hide there.
We stopped by the grocery to pick up 3 ingredients for the pies we will make tomorrow. The store was INSANE busy.
Somehow we ended up with $200 worth of wine, champagne, and liquor in our cart. I guess if we can't be trying to get pregnant I can drink all I want over the holidays. and drink I will. I started when we got home tonight. with mimosas. I love mimosas.
If I can't love this cycle, I am going to love my mimosas while I wallow in my sadness.
It just seems so unfair.
24 comments :
Awww, honey. Enjoy a mimosa for me. I am so sorry. Let those cysts heal and your drinks. The cysts happen, sweetie, which I know is no consolation, but it's part of the ride, and they make your body take time off. I wish I could come give you a great big hug.
I feel your pain. Getting canceled sucks, bad. I'm sorry for all the disappointment. Thinking of you. *hugs*
Ohhhh noooo....Foxy, Im so, so sorry.
Wish I could bring over a bottle of wine.
Thinking of you...
I don't love the cycle being cancelled, however I do love that you are making the best of it and drinking!
At least you can now really enjoy the holidays and be all ready to go for January!
Ugh, I'm so sorry. If you don't mind me asking, did you have a trigger shot last cycle to make you release all those eggs? (I remember you had a bunch of good-sized follicles.) The reason I ask is that I've heard that if you don't trigger, your body will only release one egg and any other big follicles will turn into cysts. I don't know for sure if it's true, as my RE has always done a trigger shot with medicated cycles. But it might be worth discussing with your doc.
I'm sorry you can't move on to the next cycle just yet :(
Ugh I'm sorry :( *hug*
I vote for go to Vegas to drown the sorrows!
Aw, I'm so bummed for you. That has to be the worst. Take care and I'll be thinking of you. Have a nice holiday.
Saying hello from ICLW. i'd love to say that I've never had that $200 cart. Lies of course. My favorite was when I got to the cashier only to have them ask if I was having a party. I guess a pity party counts. I would gladly whip you up a cocktail this week and keep you company. I'm very sorry for the setback.
Oh Foxy, I'm so sorry. I was hoping to read of some good follie growth. I'm so sorry you have to wait. I probably would have ended up with more than $200 of alcohol in my cart. Enjoy drinking it while you still can. I hope that January and your time to be pregnant comes soon.
God that sucks, I'm so sorry!!! Let those ovaries rest and enjoy your cocktails, you certainly deserve it. And don't let this setback rob you of your positive outlook!
Oh what a bummer, I am sorry to hear that. Enjoy those Mimosas.
Oh, that stinks. I'm so sorry. Enjoy your drinks. And now you have something super exciting to look forward to in 2011.
Foxy that sucks!!!! It's totally unfair, you're right. Treat yourself to whatever makes you feel better, even if it's booze! Much love to you.
a mimosa sounds soooo good right now, but I'm at work. I'm so sorry that you have to wait so long. I'll just say it...this SUCKS!! And BLOWS! at the same time!
ah criminey> that just sucks. I am so sorry. How many cysts did you have? :( If we get a BFN this month we are going to sit december o
ut, so we would be cycling again together in Jan. We shall see. :(
You are my first communication from 30K feet. :) Thanks to delta and free wi-fi I can conquer the world. {{Hugs}}
:( Sorry. Mimosas are good though - glad you get to enjoy those - looks like I will too. Maybe January cycle? Here's hoping :)
oh my heart is broken for you....it really really is.
Sending all the hugs through tears I can muster...right to you...
*xoxoxo*
Awww Foxy.. I know it doesn't seem fair. It isn't fair at all. January will be here in 36 days, on a positive note! Hung in there.
So sorry for this bad news. I've been trying for three years, most of it spent waiting for cysts! It's horribly depressing! Hope they go away quickly so you can get down to business.
I know this is a very common side effect, but it still sucks. I had the same issue and it just felt like a huge setback and waste of time.
Drink up.
Drink away doll. I had huge cysts after our 2nd dIUI and had to take a month off and was told to expect a second one off too. It happens. So, drink that mimosa, enjoy your holidays and keep the faith. It'll work - I'm proof!
I am so sorry and I will wallow with you.....okay, I would if I had just been given the same news....I hope you escape to Vegas or Cancun or anywhere you need to go to escape for the next two months! Hugs! happy ICLW and Happy Thanksgiving
Let me get in line and say that I'm sorry you are having to deal with this huge, huge disappointment. And your post about your beloved puppy was also beautiful.
Big hugs for you,
Lily
I am so sorry to hear this update! Definitely have a few glasses of champagne.. you deserve it! I hope the time flies by and that your cysts shrink and you are all set for a January start!
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