Dear Awesome Fertility Doctor

I was visiting Julie at her blog One More Time, With Feeling this morning. Nice to have coffee with you Julie! She mentioned that her doctor can't seem to remember her history, meaning that she has to repeat it over and over. I've heard this from way too many of us. Another web friend who went in for monitoring for her 5th donor IUI was asked when her husband would be coming in to leave his deposit. She described it as rubbing salt on an open wound. 

One of the first things I did after we made our first appointment with our first awesome fertility doctor was to write a letter. I needed this doctor to know how hard this was for us, and to remember that we were human. I wanted him to see us as people, and know that we were in a very delicate emotional state. I've submitted variations of this letter with almost all of the different doctors we've seen. I just ask them to read it, and add it to our file. They usually look confused by the request, but then read the letter, then soften and do a little more compassionate hand holding. I really think that it has helped. 

After reading Julie's post, Why doesn't this add up, it occurred to me that I should share my letter with you all. Feel free to make it your own.



Dear Awesome Fertility Doctor,


We were devastated to learn that we could not conceive naturally. What we expected would be an intimate, private experience has become an expensive, public, medical condition. We are hopeful that we will successfully have our own family, and grateful for the innovations in assisted reproductive technology.

Everything about this process is overwhelming. We appreciate your kindness and compassion. There are a few things we would like to request of you and your team:

• Please remember that, for us, every conversation with you is highly emotional and stressful. 

• Before the end of our visit, or conversation, please ask us if we have any final questions.

Finances

• Our insurance does not cover anything related to fertility testing, diagnosis, or treatment. We need your help to code our bills so that, if possible, we will receive insurance reimbursement.

• Since we will be paying out-of-pocket for most treatments and services, we appreciate any cash discounts that you might be able to offer.

• Our options for treatment will be limited by our financial resources. We would appreciate receiving clear and complete breakdown of the cost of the treatment options that we will be considering.

Travel

• We are traveling 3 hours each way to be able to see you. We have to take the day off of work in order to travel to our appointments. We've made this commitment to travel so that we can receive treatment by you, a leader in the field of infertility, and ask that you help us coordinate tests and treatments to minimize the number of trips we need to make.

Thank you for taking good care of us.

Sincerely,

Mr. and Mrs. Foxy Popcorn